Worry is what we do when we don’t know what to do, we don’t have enough information, events are outside of our control, or we’re avoiding what we really need to do. Worry is essentially a response to things that are outside of our control. Shifting the focus to specific obstacles in our path can help move us from worry to genuine peace of mind.
Sometimes worry can come from avoiding possible solutions that we don’t want to consider. We create habit and we like what’s familiar. Our habits can blind us to opportunities for taking effective action and leave us worrying instead.
We can do this with money very easily because what we spend is often based on habits and expectations, like living in a certain kind of home, driving a certain type of car, wearing certain clothes and/or enjoying a certain level of dining, travelling and entertainment. These things are all becoming normal. When we then think of solving our money issues, we often take this level of spending as a given.
There are very tangible things we can define – how much income we make per month, what our known expenses are. We can have clarity about what things cost and what we expect to earn, if we really choose to look at these things. But when our expenses are greater than our income, our investments aren’t doing well and our debts are beginning to pile up, it can be very painful to look at the facts and it becomes easier to get in a state of denial, hoping that things will simply work out somehow. This denial then provides us with immediate, short-term relief. Meanwhile, the problems continue to build, making it more painful to face them and making the relief of avoidance even more attractive.
But even when we avoid looking at the trouble, we can’t completely fool ourselves. Part of us knows that it’s there and waiting. While the relief feels good at this particular moment, the stress and anxiety are there in the background, undermining our peace of mind and causing us to worry.
It can help to think of financial peace of mind as a big goal that will take efford and time to accomplish. Imagine you have a big goal that means a lot to you and you’re willing and expect to work very hard for it. We need to identify the obstacles to reaching our goal and then focus almost entirely on what we need to do to remove those obstacles.
If you find yourself worrying about money troubles but not acting on them, ask yourself this: “What are the obstacles to my financial peace of mind, and what are the actions I need to take to overcome them? Then define the first action and take it. Then define the next one and take it and so on. Focus on specific, tangible actions that will solve your money troubles. Use your imagination to come up with concrete solutions that will lower your spending and increase your income until those two lines cross back into the black. Then establish the habits to keep them there.
If you find yourself worrying, focus instead on what can be done to make a better outcome possible. This won’t bring the immediate relief that denial does but it will, over time, bring the solid peace of mind that can come only from facing and solving the problem and reaching your goal for real.
Sven Franssen